come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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