You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
