I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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