Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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