so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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