we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
