doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
