Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
