You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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