i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
