so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
