Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
