it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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