the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
