i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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