What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize