wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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