now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
