plz talk dirty to me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
