Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
