only if we run a train.
done.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize