quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
