I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
