better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
