Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
