Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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