You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i love accidental penises.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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