that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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