giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
