How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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