I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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