good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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