how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
