he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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