if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
being pregnant is like rehab
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
