I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The power of my boobs compel you
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
