So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
