the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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