He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
