clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
