so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
