she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
