you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
