I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
