brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
