Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Randomize
