sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
