I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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