If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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