he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize