Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize