We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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