I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
