There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
