Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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