I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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