Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
