Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
