none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
