What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
