worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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