I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
