that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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