Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
