im drinking this country out of the recession.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
