She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
