I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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